Unafraid to Fear
For many individuals, fear is an enormous part of the coming out process. It can be what propels someone in or out of the “closet.” Fear has different molds and it manifests itself in different ways. Often times, fear takes up residency in the intimate spaces of one’s mind and heart. Personally, I am afraid of perception.
I was raised in the Southern Baptist church. As a child and adolescent, I was active in numerous ministries and was praised for being set apart. Christianity was a significant part of my socialization and molded my traditional morals. However, as I grew into a young adult I began to question my sexuality and consequently my very being. I was scared that the love and support I had received in my childhood and adolescence would become conditional when my loved ones learned of my sexuality. I did not want to be perceived as a “lesser” or anything other than who I intrinsically was.
I felt and still do feel enslaved to the conservative environments I am occupied in; specifically work and school. Many days I ponder to myself, how long did the caged bird sing of freedom? I so desperately wanted to open my throat to sing. Hence, #DoTell was birthed. #DoTell is a place for queer people of color to come and tell their story their way. Each episode that is released is symbolic of me relinquishing fear that keeps me captive. As for now, I embrace the darkness and the light. Each day, I give thanks as I am in pursuit of knowledge, wisdom, and evolution.
Listen to Adrian's story by clicking to play the audio file below.